Frequently asked questions

Fear to Love is a trauma-responsive approach to parenting and family healing founded by Bryan Post. It is built on the Stress Model, the idea that all behavior originates from one of two states, love or fear. From there it gives parents, educators and professionals practical tools to move from reactive control to compassionate connection.

Bryan Post is a post-institutionalized adoptee, author of more than 40 books and programs, and a clinician with 30+ years of experience. Having lived the challenges of a traumatic childhood himself, he brings both lived experience and clinical depth to the work.

Yes. The approach integrates attachment theory, interpersonal neurobiology (Dan Siegel), the polyvagal theory (Stephen Porges) and regulatory theory. Bryan Post synthesized these frameworks into the Stress Model, a practical, relationship-first model accessible to everyday families and professionals.

No. It is a secular, science-informed framework. The word 'love' refers to the neurological state of safety and connection (the opposite of the stress-fear response), not to any religious belief.

No. While the Stress Model is especially powerful for adoption and foster care, it applies to any family raising a child with challenging behavior, including biological families, blended families, and grandparents raising grandchildren.

The Stress Model reframes diagnostic labels as descriptions of stress patterns, not fixed traits. Many parents of children with diagnoses like RAD, ODD, ADHD and PTSD have found the approach transformative because it addresses the root cause, stress and fear, rather than the symptom.

Some parents notice a shift in the first week simply from slowing down their own response and choosing connection over correction. Deeper healing, especially for children with significant trauma histories, takes consistent practice over months. Progress is real, but it is rarely linear.

You can start immediately with books, eBooks, and the community. Many families make significant progress with self-study. Working with a certified coach accelerates results because a trained practitioner can help you identify your own stress patterns and apply the model to your specific situation.

Sessions are 45–60 minutes, usually by video call. The coach helps you examine a recent challenging situation, identify the stress beneath the behavior, and co-create a regulated response. Between sessions you practice and reflect. Most families work with a coach for 3–6 months.

The Stress Model gives professionals a shared framework to align with parents, understand behavior through a trauma lens, and support co-regulation in their setting. Training and certification programs are designed specifically for clinicians, educators and care teams.

Select programs offer continuing education credits. Check the specific program listing or contact us for up-to-date CEU availability.

Certification as a Fear to Love practitioner requires completing designated coursework, demonstrating application of the Stress Model in your work, and passing a competency assessment. It qualifies you to coach families and facilitate groups using the Fear to Love framework.

Yes. We provide group training, keynotes and consultation for schools, child welfare agencies and clinical teams. Contact us at hello@feartolove.com to discuss scope and scheduling.

Browse certified coaches on the Coaching page. Each profile lists specializations (adoption, foster care, autism, school issues, etc.) and session format. If you're unsure, book a free discovery call (most coaches offer one) to see if the fit feels right.

Not necessarily. Coaches are certified practitioners of the Fear to Love / Stress Model framework. If you need licensed therapeutic support (diagnosis, medication management, complex trauma treatment), a coach can complement that work, but not replace it.

Rates vary by coach and are listed on their individual profiles. Most offer package pricing for multiple sessions. Coaching is not covered by health insurance, but some HSA/FSA accounts allow family coaching expenses, so check with your plan.

Start with the $1 eBook, 'Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control,' to get the core framework. Then explore the blog for quick wins, and join the community to connect with other families. If you want faster results, book a discovery call with a coach.

Yes. The blog articles 'Behavior is communication,' 'Regulate before you educate,' and the Glossary page explain the core concepts at no cost. The community also has free introductory content.

We aim to respond within 1–2 business days.